


Extremes

by sublime42



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Depression, Eating Disorders, Gen, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sobriety, Stuffing, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Weight Gain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-27 21:11:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18199373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sublime42/pseuds/sublime42
Summary: Klaus promised Dave that he would stay sober, but he still has unresolved issues and finds another way to cope.(Read the tags!)





	Extremes

**Author's Note:**

> This is hella depressing but I had to write it. Please read the tags.

The flashback is a bad one, one that leaves Klaus shaking and sweating. He's just seen Dave die again, heard the bullets going going past them as he cradled Dave's lifeless body.

He wants a drink. Or even better, pills. Percocets would be great. They'd leave him numb and tired enough to forget everything.

But he can't have those. He promised Dave he wouldn't the last time that they'd made contact. Plus, if he’s sober he can conjure Dave more often, and the idea of that is strong enough of a lure to keep him sober. 

So, he does the one thing that's been sort of helping as of late: he eats.

00

When Klaus was on drugs, he rarely had an appetite. The pills mostly killed it. Coke especially did. It wasn't an effort for him to maintain his slender physique. If you aren't hungry, you won't get fat.

Now he's pretty astonished by just how much he can eat. At first, it wasn't much. He’d be full after a small bowl of pasta or a small sandwich. As time went by his stomach stretched and it took more to feel satisfied, and now he could easily eat four or five times what he had previously.

He opens the fridge and quickly notices a pan of leftover shepherd's pie, remnants of last night's dinner. There are three or four servings left, which seem like enough.

Klaus pops it in the oven to warm up then pulls a tub of ice cream from the freezer to enjoy while he waits.

00

Somehow, he eats half a gallon of ice cream in the twenty minutes it takes his meal to heat up. He can feel it sloshing around in his stomach, and it’s sort of uncomfortable, but not enough to put him off from eating more.

The shepherd’s pie is warm and has tons of meat and cheese beneath a thick layer of potatoes. He sighs as the first bite goes down, the warmth of it heating his mouth and body. He takes another bite, then another, and before he knows it the pan is empty and his stomach is starting to hurt. A soft groan escapes his lips as he rests his hand on it, palming it, feeling himself. He's really gotten quite chubby, if he stands up he knows that he will look as if he's six months pregnant, but he doesn't care. He's too blissed out to worry about it.

00

The thing about being full, really, really full, was that it drowned out everything else. Klaus usually found himself feeling hazy and calm and tired after a large meal. Sort of similar to how he felt while high.

This is how he feels now. Calm. Almost happy. He could still think straight if he had to (a huge difference from when he is high) but he really prefers not to. His bed is calling out to him, and he makes his way back to his room holding his stomach because the pain has gotten sharper.

Ben’s there, standing in the corner, clearly resisting the urge to shake his head in disappointment. Ben knows what Klaus did. He’d been the first one to try to stop him, to offer other potential solutions for stress relief once he noticed that Klaus was eating enough for five people. It hadn’t worked - Klaus has shrugged him off in favor of the easiest solution, and there they were. 

As much as it bothered Ben to see his brother like this, and as much as he feared how much worse Klaus might get (he’d had visions of Klaus being too fat too move, an idea really scared him), Klaus is still his brother, and obviously, he is uncomfortable, if his posture and expression and the hand on his gut are anything to go by.

So, pushing his thoughts aside, Ben helps Klaus into bed, even rubs his stomach to help him fall asleep.

00

Klaus wakes up to the sound of Luther calling him for dinner. He's taken off his shirt at some point while he napped (the extra weight he's carrying makes him feel a lot warmer) and his blanket has slid down, off of his body, and he notices Luther standing in the doorway, looking him over.

“See something you like?” Klaus jokes.

Luther frowns.

“It’s nothing. Come on, dinner’s ready.”

And Klaus knows that Luther is trying to be polite, that Luther knows what it is like to hate one's own body so he’ll never say anything about Klaus’ appearance. The others aren’t quite so nice, though most of them seem to be of the mindset that anything is better than the drugs and booze. 

Klaus isn’t really hungry - how could he be? - but he decides to go eat anyway. Why not. It’s not as if he has much else to do. 

He pulls on a shirt, his biggest one, and realizes that it’s getting too tight. It fits, but it’s stretched over him in a way that it’s not supposed to be. Then come his jeans. They’re more of a necessity than anything now. Klaus loved his skirts, but he’d given them up after the first thirty five pounds when his thighs started rubbing together. Jeans made things easier and far less painful.

And those are tight too. Tight, but wearable. He’ll get a few new pairs over the weekend.

And then he’s off, following Luther down the hallway.

00

Everyone is there for dinner that night, including Five and Vanya. It’s a rare thing. Usually at least half of them are off doing their own things. He takes his seat in between Diego and Allison and greets everyone softly.

That’s another thing he’s noticed, if he really thinks about it. He isn’t as loud and obnoxious now (Five’s description, not his). It’s as if his personality has softened along with his body. He doesn’t want to draw attention to himself as much, as he’s not sure what reactions or insults it might bring.

Their meal is quiet. Since he’s not overly hungry, he only eats two bowls of penne vodka, enough to put him back in that calm zone he likes so much. No one says anything, though Klaus can feel some of them staring at him, probably thinking how fat he’d gotten and how different he looked. Five stares for an especially long time, and it seems as if he’s trying to hold back saying something. Klaus wonders if Luther talked to him before they sat down and warned him to keep his mouth shut.

Finally, just as they’re getting up, Klaus feels a hand on his shoulder. It’s Diego, of all people. Diego’s been one of the kindest, so Klaus is somewhat surprised.

“You know I love you, bro,” he starts, and Klaus starts to zone out. “If you ever want to come to the gym, I’ll help you work out.”

It’s not rude, or cruel, because Klaus knows that Diego is legitimately concerned. He mumbles a thanks and walks off, back to his room and his bed.

00

Klaus usually conjures Dave every night. At minimum it’s three or four times a week. Dave isn’t strong enough to stay around all the time like Ben does, and Klaus tells him that he’s not strong enough to keep him there at all hours, either, though technically it’s not true. He could do it, if he really wanted to, but doing so would mean that Dave would see everything, and he’s been carefully controlling things so that Dave doesn’t freak out.

For instance, Klaus tells Dave that conjuring people makes him feel cold and tired, which is why he usually wraps a blanket around himself when he does it. Sure, the blanket hides most of his body, but Dave is just happy to be there and somehow he hasn’t questioned it. 

Klaus is sure that Dave’s noticed at least some difference. His face is chubbier, after all, but Dave hasn’t mentioned it, and Klaus has a plan in store in case he does (worst case, he asks Allison to use her powers to encourage him to lose weight). 

Tonight is no different. Tonight he conjures Dave, and they sit and talk and man, Klaus really misses him. Dave is there, but not truly. Still, they talk and Klaus tells him more about the current world and its technology, and Dave makes jokes and it makes Klaus smile for the first time that day. It’s times like this when Klaus wants to be better. Wants to be fitter, stronger, wants to be capable of coping with everything in a healthier way. Dave’s mere presence encourages him.

And then Dave leaves. He always goes around midnight, leaving Klaus alone again. Well, Ben is still there, but he feels pretty alone.

It only takes a few minutes for the happiness and hope to fade. He knows that when he sleeps he will have nightmares again, and that he might wake up screaming, and if that doesn’t happen, he might wake up to the spirits that dwell within the house surrounding him, and the thought of either occurence begins to crush him. So, he opens one of his drawers and pulls out a few snacks from the hoarde that he secretly keeps, and eats until he’s tired enough to drift off, leaving all of his problems for the following day.


End file.
